お茶とかけうどん

{ green tea and udon soup }

Soy Boy Yakisoba

Date posted
2024-04-15
Prep time
15-30 min
Cook time
10 min
Notes
vegan
This is the recipe that I made for my IRL friends and then sent to my internet friends during my first year of college. I will transcribe it exactly as I sent to them. Feel free to judge me as much as you wish.

When I first made this, I used a head of purple broccoli I found at my local food market, and the end result was pretty awesome. However, purple is not necessary for this recipe to work.

The prep time has such a wide range because it really depends on how skilled you are at prepping vegetables. I suck so I always take a long time.

Ingredients

  • 2 portions fresh yakisoba noodles (~300g) OR 2 portions dried noodles (~200g)
  • 1/2 onion (1 whole if you love onions like I do)
  • 1 carrot
  • 1/2 small head of broccoli and/or cauliflower
  • 2 leaves of swiss chard or cabbage
  • 2 green onions/scallions
  • 1-2 cups soy meat/texture vegetable protein (TVP) chunks (depending on how much of a SOY BOY you are)
  • 2 TBsp neutral flavour oil
  • 1 clove of garlic (2 if you‘re tubular like me)
  • black pepper to taste
  • 1/3 cup yakisoba sauce, store-bought or homemade (original recipe asks for half that amount but screw it)

YAKISOBA SAUCE (highly recommend fiddling with these proportions to your liking)
  • 2 TBsp soy sauce
  • 2 TBsp worcestershire sauce
  • 2-4 TBsp ketchup
  • 1-2 TBsp sugar
  • a bit of peanut butter, if ya nasty

How to make

PREP
  1. Apply lube generously to hands.
  2. Just kidding haha I am 12 years old.
  3. Put the TVP to soak in hot water for 15-30 minutes.
  4. Wash all veggies.
  5. Slice the onions and carrots.
  6. Chop chard/cabbage and scallions into 2-3cm (1 inch) bits.
  7. Clean and cut broccoli/cauliflower into bite sizes.
  8. Crush and dice the garlic.
  9. Strain the TVP and cut into bite sizes if needed.

COOKING
  1. If using dried noodles, put a pot of water to boil.
  2. On the skillet, put the oil on medium/high heat and stir-fry the onions and garlic. When onions start getting translucent, add TVP and stir for a few minutes.
  3. Add the vegetables, hard first (carrots, broccoli and cauliflower) and then soft (chard/cabbage). Cook for a few minutes, then lower the heat to medium.
  4. Add scallions and pepper to taste. Add yakisoba sauce and mix.
  5. If using dry noodles, cook them according to the instructions on the package, without adding salt or oil to the water. Strain them when done.
    • pro-tip: let them cook while stir-frying the TVP and veggies to save time.
  6. If using fresh noodles, strain them under hot water, separating the noodles by hand.
  7. Add noodles to the skillet and mix, frying them for a little bit.
  8. Done! Serve hot and enjoy!